Nerdvana and Hunger

"hello 'ello, what do we 'ave 'ere eh?" the typical english officer asked in a typical cockney accent.
"well sirh if i may," a typical irishman said in a typical irish accent.
"it appears that a bloke called sze jing is updating his blog sirh," the irishman continued, in his very typical accent..

pardon the forcefully written misspelled words.

captures the wonderful british accent 'innit?

amuses me all the time.

oh yeah, i'm probably gonna insert some typical british slang in this post.

annoying mate? then just close it. not like i have any readers anyway.

Definition of Nerdvana.

The ultimate stage of enlightenment known to nerds and geeks alike. why geeks? because geeksana sounds stupid. As opposed to nerdvana.

An obvious play with words with the band's name, and an unachievable stage in Buddhism.

Because once you claim you've reached Nirvana you've failed because that's pride.

and you can't have pride.

so you'll never know if you really reach Nirvana.

most of my friends have realized i have a... certain fascination with the UK.

food's pretty bland, but i'm alright with that.

miracle. updating me blog I is.

today, as i was on a the road to church, i saw an iron man 2 poster right after a clash of the titans.

pity it wasn't as high, big or out of place as the latter. and pity it DIDN'T COME OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY. like the latter.

apparently the release date is 30th april. so that's like, negative ten days from the release date in the US which is on the 7th of May.

that's pretty... awesome. And not at the same time.

odd eh? oy! i'm talking here.

awesome for the fact war machines playing a part. Rhodey didn't get any (much) action considering them filmmakers didn't have the money on them.

could always have disney front some up. get their name in. Evil corporation! you'd think if Stan Lee were to rub his index finger and thumb together mickey would get the idea but NOOOO!

he has to go into 3D form and sing about the colour green.

screw you disney.

also awesome because surprisingly, the first one kinda rocked. would have given it a 4 outta 5 star review really.

and finally, SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S casting as black widow! wooh! and she actually looks way better with red hair.

not awesome because...

-my mates from youth will be away in college. because they're like what, 30?

-they might have a chance of screwing it up. i want white nick. not ultimate black nick.

-some people might grow an unhealthy obsession over iron man. like what happened to taylor lautner. i still find his abs as scary as the lake of fire.

-some deluded fools might include ME into that group. time to face reality sze jing.

and,

-I PROBABLY WON'T GET TO SEE THE SHOW UNTIL A WEEK LATER!!

and you guys know how much i love iron man... *hint*

moving on to the second subject.

HUNGER.

you'd think i would go all preachy about the starving kids, i mean children, not the baby goats in Africa. but i wouldn't.

some of you should know i waste food. if it's not to my liking, scoop some rice, put it back into the rice cooker.

IF it happens to be good,

*finishes rice but not realizing it*

*bites chicken meat*

*realizes rice is finished*

now, i carry out the following steps with the chicken intact in my mouth. i occasionally give it a bite to get the flavour out.

*walks to kitchen*

*fills up the plate*

*walks back to the dining room*

*sits down*

*commences munching*

but i'm always hungry. and i'll let my stomach suffer if the food isn't good.

poor stomach. today i felt it vibrate like a phone on silent mode.

*bzzzzz*

and tonight's dinner was fantastic. good 'ol bah kut teh. my stomach agrees. so does the rest of the alimentary canal.

pity my removed appendix wasn't there for the party.

i'm quite sure everyone has their favourite bah kut teh hang out area. mine's in sentosa, which i believe to be two blocks of shoplots away from a pet store. i saw a falcon inside once.

i love falcons.

so, what's your's eh?

care to enlighten me my fellow imaginary readers?

but i'm probably way to lazy to reply your non existing potential answers.

like him.

"push a button? ah, too much work."

for some reason, i rather prefer this green mr. lazy compared to the pink one. that one just sleeps.

this one is the real definition of lazy.

so it was pretty shocking that the bah kut teh brought home was actually not from the usual shop we dine at.

but i was too busy to care because i was sucking soup from a rib bone using the empty spaces in the bone marrow.

good eatin'

while it may seem i have a bottomless stomach, it isn't so. though i wish i had one. consume as much bah kut teh as i wanted.

awesome.

so i bid all of you.... GOOOOODBYEEEE! for the next few months.

Merry Christmas everyone.

eh, still hungry. I'll get some cup noodles later i guess. mm.

and i'll go back in time while eating it so i'll have it invented during the prehistoric ages.

Guys and games

i talked about girls the last time, now it's time for the opposite sex.

ZOMG I'M UPDATING MY BLOG!!

guys eh? just that sentence makes me sound gay. nevertheless, i will continue for the sake of my readers. not that i have any.

well, i've noticed that guys on the internet, behave differently towards their own gender and the opposite. like for instance,

guy to guy
"hey douche, you have a ps3."

same guy to girl
"HEY! =D LONG TIME NO SEE! <3
"i know right? i just got back from the toilet!"
"THE TOILET?! ZZZ =="



it's actually rather entertaining. but i can't judge them. i go all smiley faced when i talk to girls over the internet.

=D
D=
=D

hilarious.
anyway, about the second item i've mentioned in the title.

let's be a little bit more specific...
video games.

and all those arses and homosexuals that only care about blood, violence and "realistic graphics"
apparently those traits define a hardcore game.

you wanna know what's hardcore kids?







now that is freaking hardcore. that little pink ball made of marshmallow is hardcore.

you know what HE DOES?!??!? YOU KNOW WHAT HE FREAKING DOES?
HE FREAKING SUCKS HIS ENEMIES AND SWALLOWS THEM WHOLE.
now your whole "oh i shot him in the face while he was reloading" ain't so badarse after all eh? EH?!?

and another thing that adds to the hardcoreness is his ability to look so bloody cute.
i mean it's like
"omg! that puppyz is zo cute LOLROLFLMAO!"
and it bites of your finger, leaving it amputated.

and he absorbs the enemies abilities to become.......

UBER-CHEF KIRBY!!!!!
and let's not forget metaknight.
heh. think about it.

oh yeah, one more thing. it seems that more and more people are folding up their collars.

what the heck's that about eh? and the other day in kl.
i saw.... a pair of girls dressed like...

this.




sorry for any nightmares caused.
good bye. we'll meet again in the not too distant past.

~that lil' arsehole kid.

oh sze jing, you've done it again.
and why the hell is better man 14 minutes long? and i thought champagne supernova, which is takes a decade to listen finish, was long.

Girls and poppycock

i like them. all boys- wait, no. most boys like them anyway.
i don't mind them as well. but some just make me wish i was gay.

like the younger ones. ferociously tapping at their keyboards, pressing lol, zzz or == on every comment they leave. and their boyfriends will start scolding you in hokkien.

stuff that rhymes with cheese pie and rubbish related to that. they're like marching namewee clones. but i do fancy namewee. he'll make you laugh if you're desperate.
i don't hate them really, i just find it hard to like them.

plus, they make the english language sound so foreign. the malays do the same thing.

"OH MAH GAID! EH YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK AIH NOT?"
or,
"eh bro, kau finish homework semalam cikgu give?"

and the ones that are younger can't even take sarcasm.

"no you're not, you're just being silly."

i think i'll leave youth as soon as joshua leaves. i can't stand the younger generation. sorry form 3 people. amazingly, i can actually tolerate you guys.

malay girls.

like in jieyang's latest post, he complained about them groups slowing him down.

my problem are the malay lesbian groups that hold their hands and walk at a pace slower than a snail stuck to double sided tape that was lying on the floor. yes i know, snails can't stick to tape. but just forgive me for making a bad comparison.

i was stuck behind them again. this time when i was walking outside. i could see my car! freedom! away from this wretched jail!! and shit. a whole line of them, blocking the road. no possible way to cut across. unless...

a car came down the slope, i jumped on the hood and overtook the girls. some of them were crushed flat. i could see their skulls being broken into pieces. but i didn't see any gray matter. makes sense doesn't it?

maybe that didn't happen. i walk on the field. but i was blocked, but i did overtake them. turning my head to glare at them.

it's not really their fault, they lack the required muscles to actually walk at a normal speed of a regular human being. their bone structure is completely wrong as well. that's what happens when you stay too long on your bum i guess.

evolution people, evolution.


so, surprised that i'm actually posting a new blog post? maybe because 2010 hasn't been so great.
it's been great for the wii though. not enough to make it feel great for ME.
yeah, it's all about me.

first, arsenal loses to man u, i lose my pencil box, with a brand new G2 1.0 ink, my first wallet, with all the money i collected from dedications and i haven't collected my allowance for 5 weeks. oh wait, i didn't get to see muse either.

hey, complaining's my talent. don't like it, complain about it elsewhere.
and spread some rumours too.

and this afternoon, that fellow... poppycockman/shakira/shakir/theguythatneverhadhisvoicestabilizedduringpuberty called everyone that has free ti- damn, don't say it. you'll get hanged. that doesn't take chinese to the dewan tertutup.

the one with the decorative aircons.
he called us in to tell us off, repeating the bullcrap a million times over.
switching between malay and english. i could tell he was serious. we wouldn't have been called if they didn't play football.

but i don't care. i still had a blast at my 1 hour chinese period right after.

and i've been waking up at 6 45 everyday. for some weird sports thing. i've never excelled in that bidang. oh crap, it's happening. but that's a story for another day.

screw him. and school. and little girls. and most of all, twilight.

bye guys. you'll get my new blog post in let's say.... in another thousand years?

bands and comics

Shouting out oasis lyrics incoherently and nodding my head crazily as the tunes blast at a hundred decibels from my headphones. everyone must be thinking i'm an escaped mental patient from arkham asylum. especially the indonesian workers next door.

forgive me for asking such a rhetorical question but, WHY THE HECK DID ONE OF THE BEST BANDS IN THE HISTORY OF MUSIC BREAK UP?! all we're left with now is singers who have to talk when they sing and posers that fail at everything.

eh, liam pissed noel off. again. and this time it's serious. music can't survive on Muse alone and all of us bloody well know that. except the heretics that actually listen to this era of "music"

i was too much of a linkin park fanboy to realize how much MTM sucked until jieyang came along and called them wimps. hehe. i admit i was a little hurt inside, but MTM only had one decent song. decent at best. jeez, tracks from meteora and hybrid theory were amazing. and that's being extremely, EXTREMELY modest.

jieyang and all my seniors influence me a lot. they're either really influential or i'm just as gullible as alton.

the first lp album i actually took the time to listen to was hybrid theory. definitely my favourite. It had awesome songs like in the end, one step closer, crawling and papercut. just to name a few. who wouldn't love it?

oh yeah, those thundering idiots that go

"ew ew ew!!!! i hate them!! they suck!!!! BU HAO TING AH!! i'm so gonna read twilight, fantasize about edward cullen (because we know real vampires would never tear your head off. oohhh noo!!!) and listen to miley cyrus!!! yay!!"

i feel like screaming
SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!
but i can't. for obvious reasons.
you HAVE to love linkin park for those lyrics.



so, surprised that i actually updated my blog?
heh,
well, the other day, cheryl told me she checked my blog and said it wasn't updated. so i felt a little guilty. eh, not really.

so, i had fun playing guitar for main church yesterday. kudos to langdon for giving me a chance. thanks man.

and ju chin passed me a comic book. she passed me *drumrolls* A COLLECTION OF DILBERT SUNDAY STRIPS!!! WOO!! i was so ecstatic when i got it that i kept on saying thank you over and over again until the point it annoyed her a little. she's so awesome. so awesome because she actually remembered after i asked her a few months ago for the book during her spm. good girl.

dilbert is just simply awesome. it's the same type of humour that xkcd has except it's set in the office. just simply fantastic.

dogbert is definitely my favourite character in the whole series. i'm quite sure that ju chin's is wally.

i was reading it last night, limiting myself to just 50 strips because i wanted to enjoy it slowly. it was pretty much torture because i kept feeling like finishing the book.

"all right, i'll just read 50 pages and read the rest in this week."

after 45 minutes and laughing so much that global warming has become a bigger issue.

"ah, okay, i'll stop now. ooh, wait wait, this one looks funny!"

after another 45 minutes and another 50 strips. singapore should be submerged in water now.

"oh man, it's already 2 am. i have to stop now. oh man, page 101 looks extremely funny."

good news, i finally stopped and went to bed AFTER READING THE WHOLE COMIC BOOK.

that's all for now. holidays have been really boring. spending the whole day in front of the computer or building me some gundam while i chew gum and blow bubbles with it. not a good combination. sometimes the gum flies from my mouth and lands on the floor.

and it still had some taste left in it.
sighhh.

FOR MUSIC'S SAKE, APOLOGIZE LIAM.
AND CHESTER, SING PROPERLY.

PLEASE.



it's not my fault if i ask you a simple question and don't listen when you start to elaborate so much, pulling out pie charts and tell me boring life stories. i grow hungry and wander off. sometimes, i spot a butterfly.